Thursday, September 8, 2011

Review: Devil's Kiss by Sarwat Chadda


Published Date: May 7th, 2009 / July 20th, 2010
Finished Date: September 7th, 2011
Publishers: Puffin / Hyperion
Format: Paperback
Pages: 272 / 352
Series: Billi SanGreal Book 1

Blurb from Goodreads: As the youngest and only female member of the Knights Templar, Bilquis SanGreal grew up knowing she wasn't normal. Instead of hanging out at the mall or going on dates, she spends her time training as a soldier in her order's ancient battle against the Unholy.

Billi's cloistered life is blasted apart when her childhood friend, Kay, returns from Jerusalem, gorgeous and with a dangerous chip on his shoulder. He's ready to reclaim his place in Billi's life, but she's met someone new: amber-eyed Michael, who seems to understand her like no one else, effortlessly claiming a stake in her heart.

But the Templars are called to duty before Billi can enjoy the pleasant new twist to her life. One of the order's ancient enemies has resurfaced, searching for a treasure that the Templars have protected for hundreds of years -- a cursed mirror powerful enough to kill all of London's firstborn. To save her city from catastrophe, Billi will have to put her heart aside and make sacrifices greater than any of the Templars could have imagined.

My Review

7 September 2011: 0.5 stars. All I can think to say to this book now is: "Utter crap. The stove is there, please see yourself there."

So I'm not going to do the review now. Don't want to cuss too much.


8 September 2011: Right, here we go. This book, is utter crap. Have I said that already?

Bilquis "Billi" SanGreal's dad is the head of the Knights Templar, people who police the things that go bump in the night, so to speak. And to officially become one of them, you'll have to pass the Ordeal. True to its name, the Ordeal is a terrifying task which Billi dreads to take.

Her mom died when she was a kid, and her dad has been treating her like so much scum for all these years. The year that Billi had her Ordeal is also the year where her best and only friend, Kay, left for Jerusalem (or was it Isreal...) to train as an Oracle. So Billi was mad to see him return to London a day after her Ordeal because he wasn't there for her when she was downright terrified or when she passed it.

Now, I have very strong feelings about this particular point, and they are not positive strong feelings. You see, it was Billi's aggravating dad that sent him away in the first place, but Billi totally dumped the blame pile on Kay. And she acted like a total tarmagant to him. Which pissed me off royally.

Billi was resentful of her friendless, miserable Templar life. So when handsome Mike Harbinger (Can you believe this shit? Hi, I'm Mr Harbinger. Totally normal last name. Totally.) saved her from an assault from three thugs, her rebel spirit was somehow rekindled and she invited him into her house.

Turns out Mike really is a Harbinger. A big one. The one that scares the shit out of parents just seeing him look at their kids. Or maybe just seeing him from way over the horizon with their binoculars. Lol, end of sarcasm.

Sounds innerestin, don't it? Don't let the summary screw your judgement like it did mine. Cause I'm telling you, this book is not worth the trees that has to be so brutally sawed off.

Firstly: The cover is screwed up. Cause if the protagonist turned into a male in the end, then I didn't read about it cause I did not finish reading this. Too painful to the eyes, head, nose, ears, hands, physique. Anyway, yes, the protagonist is a girl. If it's about the antagonist, then I have to remind them that he only appeared about mid-way thru the book. (I'm talking about the cover with the red cross at the front). The other cover isn't much better anyway. Billi's supposed to look Middle Eastern. That girl suuuuure looks Middle Eastern to me.

Secondly: Billi has a sorry excuse of a romantic relationship. And the way she fell for them, is even more commiserable, and deplorable. One of them, she fell in love with under 10 min of meeting him after a traumatic incident. The second one, she fell in love with a day after she got dumped by the first.

In the synopsis they say that Kay is back demanding her attention with a vengeance right? Turns out that vengeance is only on day one when he hugged her, then after that deemed her unsafe for him (as in, she would be a fatal distraction to him being an Oracle). And the hot guy that she was supposedly dating didn't even reciprocate the feeling. He even manipulated and tried to kill her!

Thirdly: Billi the protagonist seems more of a supporting character.

"Templars: Oh no, who is powerful enough to save us?
Kay: Me!
Templars: Oh no, we are being attacked on all sides, who do we look to?
Head of Templars: Me!
Templars: Oh no, who's that big bad wolf outside our window?
Mr Harbinger: MOI!"

You see? There're all not about poor old Billi! And look at her name! It's not even a girl's name! *gasp in horror and pity*

But rest assure, Billi often voices her frustration with life throughout the book. Did you miss the keyword? Let me repeat myself. Ahem. "Often".

Fourthly: The entirety of the uneventful-ness of this book is astounding. Really. I'd expected so much more when I read the synopsis. Disappointing, to say the least.

Fifthly: This one's the best. This novel didn't follow the Bible/Quran correctly. Chadda somehow managed to twist the stories and.. Lol, they were original, and oftentimes so odd it became an unintended comedy.

This bitching session has been surprisingly draining. Lol. I shall stop here. I want some down time to mourn the loss of my time, and this complete let-down of a book that had so much plot potential.

PS. Sorry if there were a lot of grammer errors. Didn't want to check cause I don't want to renew the irritation that this book had incited in me.

My Rating


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Cyp's Abbreviation Dictionary

DNF = Did Not Finish
HEA = Happily Ever After
PNR = Paranormal Romance
UF = Urban Fantasy
YA = Young Adult

Erotica Reference

BDSM = Bondage/Discipline, Dominant/Submissive, Sadism/Masochism
f/f = female/female
m/f = male/female
m/m = male/male


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